- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufMan: I want to give myself to you.
Woman: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.
A Comprehensive Dissection of campus life in Africa, News, Celebrity,Gossip, Jokes and lots more...
Showing posts with label juicy portal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label juicy portal. Show all posts
teacher
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufA teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked
anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and
the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she
asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave
you standing up by yourself.”
differences
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufA little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the
sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and
says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl
is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. She
drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can
have as many of those as I want!”
round table discussion
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufA family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many
kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a
woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still
nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son
asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his
wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of
willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes
through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree,
mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but
reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas
tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are
just for decoration.”
wise black guy
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufOn the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is asian, one is
mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The asian walks to the
ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof.
Next, the mexican walks to the ledge and also says, "This is for all my
people" and then he jumps off the roof. Next is the black guy's turn.
The black guy walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people"
and then throws the white guy off the roof.
redhead and others
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufA blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They
found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one
wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The
brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home
with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
mother in the kitchen
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufA mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her
daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and
Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their
bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the
daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby,
honey.” The child seems to comprehend.
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had
daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”
“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”
husband and wife
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpufA husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their
computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground
laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
Creation
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpuf
God created the Donkey and said to him "you will be a donkey, you will work untiringly on the earth from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back, you will eat grass, you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years" the Donkey answered "I will be a donkey but 50 years is too much, give me 20 years" God granted his wish.
God created the dog and said to him, "you will guard the house of man. you will be his best friend friend, you will eat the scrap that he gives you, you will live 20 year. you will be a dog.
The dog answered, " Sir 20 years is too much please give me nly 15 years". God granted him his wish.
God created the monkey and said to him, " you will swing from branch to branch, doing tricks, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years'' you will be a monkey"
The monkey answered and said, "to live 20 years is too much , please give me only 10 years"
God granted his wish.
Finally, God created man and said to him, " you will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth, you will use your intelligence to dominate and become master over the animals.you will have dominion over the world, you will live 20 years
Man responded, "Sir i will be a man but to live 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that donkey refused, the ears that 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused"
God granted his wish.
and since then...
man live 20 years as a man, marries and spend 30 years like a donkey, working and caring all the burdens on his back, then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dogs, taking care of house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to the other, doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
God created the dog and said to him, "you will guard the house of man. you will be his best friend friend, you will eat the scrap that he gives you, you will live 20 year. you will be a dog.
The dog answered, " Sir 20 years is too much please give me nly 15 years". God granted him his wish.
God created the monkey and said to him, " you will swing from branch to branch, doing tricks, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years'' you will be a monkey"
The monkey answered and said, "to live 20 years is too much , please give me only 10 years"
God granted his wish.
Finally, God created man and said to him, " you will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth, you will use your intelligence to dominate and become master over the animals.you will have dominion over the world, you will live 20 years
Man responded, "Sir i will be a man but to live 20 years is very little, give me the 30 years that donkey refused, the ears that 15 years that the dog did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused"
God granted his wish.
and since then...
man live 20 years as a man, marries and spend 30 years like a donkey, working and caring all the burdens on his back, then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dogs, taking care of house and eating whatever is given to him, so that when he is old he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey, going from house to house and from one son or daughter to the other, doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.
Job qualifications
- See more at: http://www.helperblogger.com/2012/04/add-twitter-tweet-button-just-below-of.html#sthash.TNN1HHYW.dpuf
A foremost political party in Our dear country popularly know as "the ruling party" requires for the immediate appointment into the House of representatives, a qualification hooligan, with the following professional qualifications:
First degree in boxing or kickboxing-
A professional diploma in agressive cover-up techniques
Must be a duely certified liar with vast experience in corrupt practices.
Must be ready to shun the voices of the people , inallegiance to the parties wish.
possession of a falsified Educational degree will be an added advantage.
Duely qalified candidates should forward there detailed Cv`s to the party secretariat
NB: Please note that candidates with deadly upper-cuts will be give preference
The Selection processes will definitely be biased and open to changes without notice as this is part of the party policy.
Shortlisted athletics with be a course in political jargon`s to familiarise the with the language of the tournament
A foremost political party in Our dear country popularly know as "the ruling party" requires for the immediate appointment into the House of representatives, a qualification hooligan, with the following professional qualifications:
First degree in boxing or kickboxing-
A professional diploma in agressive cover-up techniques
Must be a duely certified liar with vast experience in corrupt practices.
Must be ready to shun the voices of the people , inallegiance to the parties wish.
possession of a falsified Educational degree will be an added advantage.
Duely qalified candidates should forward there detailed Cv`s to the party secretariat
NB: Please note that candidates with deadly upper-cuts will be give preference
The Selection processes will definitely be biased and open to changes without notice as this is part of the party policy.
Shortlisted athletics with be a course in political jargon`s to familiarise the with the language of the tournament
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